Or, more accurately, what not to eat. Because it seems like every food is potentially evil. I've recently been upping my fruit intake, after keeping a food diary for a fortnight and realising that one orange does not a healthy diet make. But then the man at the gym said to me 'oh, be careful not to eat too much fruit, I mean, too many apples will still make you fat.' Right. Great. Christ, what is OK to eat then?
Not being particularly well off, I don't dine mid-week on roasted grouse or poach up a side of salmon for dinner. But I can't abide the pre-packaged ready meals that you can get - a plate of fresh cooked food, frozen for your convenience, ready for the microwave to nuke the last few vitamins and flavour molecules away. Somewhere in the middle must surely be the safe ground, where a healthy balanced diet is easily achievable?
Well, not if you ever read a womens' magazine its not. Eating bread, of course, is pretty much equivalent to eating lard and any form of potato is just asking for bingo wings and flabby thighs. We should all be able to subsist on quinoa, cottage cheese and wheatgrass through the day, with a fruit and bran based breakfast. Every time I see a "14 day bikini diet" advertised on a magazine, I can predict that salmon, skinless chicken breast and cottage cheese will feature heavily - and I am very rarely wrong. But when theres not a whole lot of cash to spare on luxuries like eating, its quite natural to need to eat things that fill you up and don't cost half your salary: pasta; baked potatoes; bread. All the foods that we women are told will pile on the pounds and result in you becoming a bed-bound whale that has to have the living room wall removed by firemen to get you out of the house and into hospital for the inevitable gastric band surgery.
And the horror that is WeightWatchers... I don't even know where to start. I think the company is dangerously irresponsible, taking money from vulnerable and unhappy women and shaming them into thinking that losing those few pounds will change their lives, without taking any responsibility for educating them on balance and variety of diet. My friend came home one day and was preparing her WeightWatchers ready-meal in the microwave - the fridge was stocked with salad, cucumber, tomatoes - and when I asked did WeightWatchers not encourage you to eat salads, she said "well, yes they are point-free". Point free?! Where is the encouragement to eat a varied healthy mix of foods? Why do these weekly meetings not include discussions on how much more delicious a plastic pre-packaged meal with the WeightWatchers trademark would taste if you had some fresh salad or vegetables on the side? Because then you might actually get involved in preparing the food yourself and then the marketing of the branded products would all be wasted because you wouldn't need it anymore - you could buy ingredients and cook with them.
SlimFast... another horrific slap in the face for anyone over a size 8 and feeling the need to conform to the picture perfect images in the adverts - here you go, lets remove all the nutrients, vitamins and fresh food from your diet and replace it with this synthetic milk mixture. You can buy our "snacks" too.. though you might find they are actually higher in calories than most other snacks available on the market. This will mean you won't lose too much weight or suffer any unfortunate side affects (malnutrition or scurvy, for example) but you will carry on buying our weight loss products and filling our pockets with your lovely money, thank you very much. This brings to mind one of the most wonderful books ever written, 'Good Omens' by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. In it, they reinvent the Four Horseman of the Apocalyspe as modern interpretations of the original - War, Famine, Pollution & Death. This quote reminds me so very much of SlimFast:
Two years of Newtrition investment and research had produced CHOW (TM). CHOW (TM) contained spun, plaited, and woven protein molecules, capped and coded, carefully designed to be ignored by even the most ravenous digestive tract enzymes; no-cal sweetener, mineral oils replacing vegetable oils; fibrous materials, coloring, and flavorings. The end result was a foodstuff almost indistinguishable from any other except for two things. Firstly, the price, which was slightly higher, and secondly the nutritional content, which was roughly equivalent to that of a Sony Walkman. It didn’t matter how much you ate, you lost weight.
…
He followed CHOW (TM) with SNACKS (TM) — junk food made from real junk.
MEALS (TM) was Sable’s latest brainwave.
MEALS (TM) was CHOW (TM) with added sugar and fat. The theory was that if you ate enough MEALS (TM) you would a) get very fat, and b) die of malnutrition.
Good Omens Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett C 1990
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Omens-Neil-Gaiman/dp/0552137030/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346082134&sr=8-1
As a woman I am expected to want to be slim - the magazines marketed directly at my demographic assume that as I weigh more than the average eight-year old child, then I must want to lose weight (and if not the natural way, then theres always cosmetic surgery! more to follow on that subject no doubt). I want to be healthy, I want to be fit enough to climb the stairs without risking coronary, I dont want to take to my bed with a packet of digestives and cry the weekend away in misery because I am not what the magazines think I should want to be. But I do want to be allowed to have a sandwich for my lunch every day without this being considered tantamount to self-harm, and if I want to eat cheesecake then I bloody well will.
K x
Monday 27 August 2012
Monday 20 August 2012
WikiRape?
I had a rape alarm for a while, bought for me after a girl was raped at the end of my street. It turned out, after two days of forensics in white suits and police tape, that the girl had "made it up" and there was actually no "rape". I kept the rape alarm for the next eighteen months or so, certain that the day I took it off my key chain would be the day I got punched in the face and dragged down an alley way. The bloody thing would always come off at the worst possible moment (for example when letting myself in to the house quietly at 2am...) and make a blinding noise and eventually I got sick of it and left it at home. I am glad to say that the worst case scenario hasn't happened and I'm still OK.
I wish I knew more about the girl at the end of my street - was she just a bit drunk and went further than she had hoped to with a lad she met in a club and made a false claim? Or was she really taken advantage of, but with little or no solid evidence no arrest was made?
I still can't justify to myself exactly what counts as rape and what doesn't. There was no formal invitation from my ex boyfriend, for me to either accept or decline. Had I pushed him away and said 'NO' I would have expected him to stop (which of course he would have done), but at no point did I say 'YES' either. We were both in a position to assume consent on the part of the other.
I am by no means promiscuous, but I have had experiences of the one night variety. Had I woken up one morning and regretted my decisions, thats a shame but no rape occurred. From what I have read about the Julian Assange case, it seems very far from clear cut. One of the claimants went to bed with him, and had fully consensual sex. She allowed him to stay the night, and says she awoke to him having sex with her. So, this second time would be 'unconsenting', but in all honesty, its not unusual is it? It was not a huge leap on his part to 'assume consent' after the night before; yes of course if she was asleep it did not give her the opportunity to say 'NO', but I'm sure she wasnt asleep throughout and could (should?) have said no at first opportunity, which would have made it very clearly unconsensual and definitely rape. She has not, as far as I know, claimed that he used violence in this instance to coerce or force her. I don't know what I think about it, and ultimately, my opinion doesn't really matter.
My small amount of knowledge of the Assange case wasn't really what I have been worrying about - more that the case has brought into question the legitimacy of the rape claims from the two ladies in Sweden, even by myself and I consider myself a pretty well intentioned, well informed kinda lady. Why are we all (including me) tearing apart the claims of A and B and wondering whether it was or wasn't rape or whether he should be tried or not? The truth is, under Swedish law he has been accused of rape and sexual assault and should be interviewed and tried for these accusations. It is not up to the general public to decide whether or not he is guilty of the crimes of which he has been accused.
Too often rape goes unreported and too often the perpetrator/s are not made to face any punishment for their crime. Also, more often than we would like (because we would like it to be NEVER), some girls 'cry rape' maybe because they are ashamed of themselves, or perhaps on purpose to get the man they had sex with in trouble. The impetus really does lie with the male of the species to NOT ever assume consent, that raping women is not an OK thing to do, and the fact that she was so shit-faced she couldn't remember her own name does not mean that 'nnnnnugh...' followed by her passing out constitutes consent .
There is an easy way to not get raped - never leave the house and wear iron knickers - but lets face it thats not particularly tempting, and why should women have to spend their lives practicing rape-avoidance techniques when the victim of a rape is not the guilty party? The other way would be for men (and women) everywhere, Assange included, to realise that sex is something that both sexes should give to eachother - it should not be taken, EVER.
K x
I wish I knew more about the girl at the end of my street - was she just a bit drunk and went further than she had hoped to with a lad she met in a club and made a false claim? Or was she really taken advantage of, but with little or no solid evidence no arrest was made?
I still can't justify to myself exactly what counts as rape and what doesn't. There was no formal invitation from my ex boyfriend, for me to either accept or decline. Had I pushed him away and said 'NO' I would have expected him to stop (which of course he would have done), but at no point did I say 'YES' either. We were both in a position to assume consent on the part of the other.
I am by no means promiscuous, but I have had experiences of the one night variety. Had I woken up one morning and regretted my decisions, thats a shame but no rape occurred. From what I have read about the Julian Assange case, it seems very far from clear cut. One of the claimants went to bed with him, and had fully consensual sex. She allowed him to stay the night, and says she awoke to him having sex with her. So, this second time would be 'unconsenting', but in all honesty, its not unusual is it? It was not a huge leap on his part to 'assume consent' after the night before; yes of course if she was asleep it did not give her the opportunity to say 'NO', but I'm sure she wasnt asleep throughout and could (should?) have said no at first opportunity, which would have made it very clearly unconsensual and definitely rape. She has not, as far as I know, claimed that he used violence in this instance to coerce or force her. I don't know what I think about it, and ultimately, my opinion doesn't really matter.
My small amount of knowledge of the Assange case wasn't really what I have been worrying about - more that the case has brought into question the legitimacy of the rape claims from the two ladies in Sweden, even by myself and I consider myself a pretty well intentioned, well informed kinda lady. Why are we all (including me) tearing apart the claims of A and B and wondering whether it was or wasn't rape or whether he should be tried or not? The truth is, under Swedish law he has been accused of rape and sexual assault and should be interviewed and tried for these accusations. It is not up to the general public to decide whether or not he is guilty of the crimes of which he has been accused.
Too often rape goes unreported and too often the perpetrator/s are not made to face any punishment for their crime. Also, more often than we would like (because we would like it to be NEVER), some girls 'cry rape' maybe because they are ashamed of themselves, or perhaps on purpose to get the man they had sex with in trouble. The impetus really does lie with the male of the species to NOT ever assume consent, that raping women is not an OK thing to do, and the fact that she was so shit-faced she couldn't remember her own name does not mean that 'nnnnnugh...' followed by her passing out constitutes consent .
There is an easy way to not get raped - never leave the house and wear iron knickers - but lets face it thats not particularly tempting, and why should women have to spend their lives practicing rape-avoidance techniques when the victim of a rape is not the guilty party? The other way would be for men (and women) everywhere, Assange included, to realise that sex is something that both sexes should give to eachother - it should not be taken, EVER.
K x
Monday 13 August 2012
Being Exceptional
In recent weeks I, and no doubt a significant proportion of the population of Great Britain, have been obsessively watching the London Olympic Games. I cannot put in to words the admiration I have for the organisers, the volunteers and the athletes themselves for putting on such an incredible show. It has been exciting, nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat stuff for 16 days, showing the world not only can Great Britain host an exciting event, but that our athletes can compete and win a staggering number of medals. But if what we have seen is the cream of the British crop, then what is to come in another fortnight can only be considered the clotted cream... for the Paralympics is coming! Another swathe of incredible athletes trained to their peak, to show us superhuman feats of strength, speed, flexibility, control and general amazingness.
My self-confidence has definitely taken a bashing over the past few years, and the Olympics has made this significantly more pointed - if Jessica Ennis and her team-mates are the poster children of the generation, honed to physical perfection and excelling at their particular sport, then what am I in comparison? Distinctly average. What do I excel at? What will I be remembered for in ten or twenty years time? I swam forty lengths today - but it's unlikely I'll be called up to represent my country any time soon in the 1,000m gentle breast-stroke final, coming in with a new world record at 43 minutes.
And my heart goes out to those that didn't win - the swimmers apologising to the country for 'only' coming 3rd, or for not winning a medal at all. What on earth is there to apologise for? Jeez, you are such a let down to your country, only being one of the top ten at your sport in the whole world! You might as well just jack it in now and become a BBC Sports presenter. To represent your country at the Olympic Games (or similar) means that you are the best in the country. I think that's something to be ridiculously proud of, not to apologise for. So, the massive American power-house went faster than you? Trust me, you went faster than ANY OF US could have done. You are exceptional.
Life is not a competition, I know this. And yet we are always bombarded by competition in the media - be it sporting as in the Olympics, or 'music' with the X-factor, or dancing dogs with Britains Got Talent. It's all about who can do what best, or fastest, or least annoyingly in the case of the dancing dogs. Because of the distinct lack of employment opportunities in this country at the moment, I am finding myself writing applications as "The Best Admin / Customer Service Superstar Extraordinaire Ever Known" in an attempt to stand out from the other 6,000 applicants for the same post. More than ever I feel the need to have some extra special quality, something that I would win the gold medal for if it were an Olympic event.
So, thankyou Team GB for being so amazing, filling us all with pride and love for our little country on the international stage. And good luck Paralympic Team GB I hope you win all the medals and royally stuff the Americans and the Chinese. But equally, can we all remember that its the taking part that counts?
K x
My self-confidence has definitely taken a bashing over the past few years, and the Olympics has made this significantly more pointed - if Jessica Ennis and her team-mates are the poster children of the generation, honed to physical perfection and excelling at their particular sport, then what am I in comparison? Distinctly average. What do I excel at? What will I be remembered for in ten or twenty years time? I swam forty lengths today - but it's unlikely I'll be called up to represent my country any time soon in the 1,000m gentle breast-stroke final, coming in with a new world record at 43 minutes.
And my heart goes out to those that didn't win - the swimmers apologising to the country for 'only' coming 3rd, or for not winning a medal at all. What on earth is there to apologise for? Jeez, you are such a let down to your country, only being one of the top ten at your sport in the whole world! You might as well just jack it in now and become a BBC Sports presenter. To represent your country at the Olympic Games (or similar) means that you are the best in the country. I think that's something to be ridiculously proud of, not to apologise for. So, the massive American power-house went faster than you? Trust me, you went faster than ANY OF US could have done. You are exceptional.
Life is not a competition, I know this. And yet we are always bombarded by competition in the media - be it sporting as in the Olympics, or 'music' with the X-factor, or dancing dogs with Britains Got Talent. It's all about who can do what best, or fastest, or least annoyingly in the case of the dancing dogs. Because of the distinct lack of employment opportunities in this country at the moment, I am finding myself writing applications as "The Best Admin / Customer Service Superstar Extraordinaire Ever Known" in an attempt to stand out from the other 6,000 applicants for the same post. More than ever I feel the need to have some extra special quality, something that I would win the gold medal for if it were an Olympic event.
So, thankyou Team GB for being so amazing, filling us all with pride and love for our little country on the international stage. And good luck Paralympic Team GB I hope you win all the medals and royally stuff the Americans and the Chinese. But equally, can we all remember that its the taking part that counts?
K x
Sunday 5 August 2012
Old Age
Yes, yes, I am only 29, my own old age is quite a way off (though there are days when I feel like I'm 90 already...). But this week my grandad has been admitted to hospital after falling at home and cutting his head open; they have run tests and it turns out he also has a chest infection along with Type 2 diabetes and at 80-something that means he is pretty poorly.
It struck me that we sort of expect our grandparents to become ill and eventually die, as is the natural run of things: although it would make me very, very sad, I do expect my grandad to die at some point in the (hopefully distant) future. My parents, however, are a totally different ball game. My parents are invincible, they will always be there to help me out when my car breaks down unexpectedly, or to give advice, or to help with big decisions. My dad went through some pretty serious treatments for cancer last year, but at no point did it seriously cross my mind that my dad might actually die; I was just waiting for the "all-clear, you are free to go home", which thankfully came. So is my Mum currently thinking of my Grandad in this same way? Or does there come a point in adult life where you realise that your parents are mortal just like everyone else?
I have often said that I would hate to grow old and infirm, that I would rather die at 60 than lapse into a state of constant reliance, to lose my faculties and need assistance with daily tasks. That I would rather go out on a high than dribbling and wearing a pair of incontinence pants. When I told my mum this she hesitated, and said that I would feel different when I had children and grandchildren; that every day would be a chance to see them grow up and grow older and that I wouldnt want to miss that for the world. And maybe she is right, that when you create a second generation to follow after you perhaps your perspective changes. Even if I never have children or grandchildren of my own, I know that every chance I get to see my 2 year old niece is like a gift, and who doesn't like getting presents? If that's how it feels when you are old and weary, that seeing young members of your family growing up makes every day like Christmas, then it can't be so bad after all.
K x
It struck me that we sort of expect our grandparents to become ill and eventually die, as is the natural run of things: although it would make me very, very sad, I do expect my grandad to die at some point in the (hopefully distant) future. My parents, however, are a totally different ball game. My parents are invincible, they will always be there to help me out when my car breaks down unexpectedly, or to give advice, or to help with big decisions. My dad went through some pretty serious treatments for cancer last year, but at no point did it seriously cross my mind that my dad might actually die; I was just waiting for the "all-clear, you are free to go home", which thankfully came. So is my Mum currently thinking of my Grandad in this same way? Or does there come a point in adult life where you realise that your parents are mortal just like everyone else?
I have often said that I would hate to grow old and infirm, that I would rather die at 60 than lapse into a state of constant reliance, to lose my faculties and need assistance with daily tasks. That I would rather go out on a high than dribbling and wearing a pair of incontinence pants. When I told my mum this she hesitated, and said that I would feel different when I had children and grandchildren; that every day would be a chance to see them grow up and grow older and that I wouldnt want to miss that for the world. And maybe she is right, that when you create a second generation to follow after you perhaps your perspective changes. Even if I never have children or grandchildren of my own, I know that every chance I get to see my 2 year old niece is like a gift, and who doesn't like getting presents? If that's how it feels when you are old and weary, that seeing young members of your family growing up makes every day like Christmas, then it can't be so bad after all.
K x
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