WikiRape?

I had a rape alarm for a while, bought for me after a girl was raped at the end of my street.  It turned out, after two days of forensics in white suits and police tape, that the girl had "made it up" and there was actually no "rape".  I kept the rape alarm for the next eighteen months or so, certain that the day I took it off my key chain would be the day I got punched in the face and dragged down an alley way.  The bloody thing would always come off at the worst possible moment (for example when letting myself in to the house quietly at 2am...) and make a blinding noise and eventually I got sick of it and left it at home.  I am glad to say that the worst case scenario hasn't happened and I'm still OK.
I wish I knew more about the girl at the end of my street - was she just a bit drunk and went further than she had hoped to with a lad she met in a club and made a false claim?  Or was she really taken advantage of, but with little or no solid evidence no arrest was made?
I still can't justify to myself exactly what counts as rape and what doesn't.  There was no formal invitation from my ex boyfriend, for me to either accept or decline.  Had I pushed him away and said 'NO' I would have expected him to stop (which of course he would have done), but at no point did I say 'YES' either.  We were both in a position to assume consent on the part of the other.
I am by no means promiscuous, but I have had experiences of the one night variety.  Had I woken up one morning and regretted my decisions, thats a shame but no rape occurred.  From what I have read about the Julian Assange case, it seems very far from clear cut.  One of the claimants went to bed with him, and had fully consensual sex.  She allowed him to stay the night, and says she awoke to him having sex with her.  So, this second time would be 'unconsenting', but in all honesty, its not unusual is it?  It was not a huge leap on his part to 'assume consent' after the night before; yes of course if she was asleep it did not give her the opportunity to say 'NO', but I'm sure she wasnt asleep throughout and could (should?) have said no at first opportunity, which would have made it very clearly unconsensual and definitely rape.  She has not, as far as I know, claimed that he used violence in this instance to coerce or force her.  I don't know what I think about it, and ultimately, my opinion doesn't really matter.
My small amount of knowledge of the Assange case wasn't really what I have been worrying about - more that the case has brought into question the legitimacy of the rape claims from the two ladies in Sweden, even by myself and I consider myself a pretty well intentioned, well informed kinda lady.  Why are we all (including me) tearing apart the claims of A and B and wondering whether it was or wasn't rape or whether he should be tried or not?  The truth is, under Swedish law he has been accused of rape and sexual assault and should be interviewed and tried for these accusations.  It is not up to the general public to decide whether or not he is guilty of the crimes of which he has been accused.
Too often rape goes unreported and too often the perpetrator/s are not made to face any punishment for their crime.  Also, more often than we would like (because we would like it to be NEVER), some girls 'cry rape' maybe because they are ashamed of themselves, or perhaps on purpose to get the man they had sex with in trouble.  The impetus really does lie with the male of the species to NOT ever assume consent, that raping women is not an OK thing to do, and the fact that she was so shit-faced she couldn't remember her own name does not mean that 'nnnnnugh...'  followed by her passing out constitutes consent  . 
There is an easy way to not get raped - never leave the house and wear iron knickers - but lets face it thats not particularly tempting, and why should women have to spend their lives practicing rape-avoidance techniques when the victim of a rape is not the guilty party?  The other way would be for men (and women) everywhere, Assange included, to realise that sex is something that both sexes should give to eachother - it should not be taken, EVER.
K x